Bethpage Black Kicked My Butt

Golf in the Northeast is lying dormant for now, so there's little else to do but ponder the year ahead, and consider the seasons passed. The snow reminds me that my first outing at Bethpage Black was in my youth, and was spent sleigh-riding, not playing golf. About 37 years later, my first golf outing there was among my most memorable golf outings of all.
It's a brute of a course, even when dumbed-down for us normal dubs. A scratch-golfing, golf-club member friend of mine declared that everyone - even he - ought to expect to shoot 6 or 7 strokes over what they normally shoot. He understated that case by a few, in my opinion.
While not spectacular in the way that Pebble Beach might be, The Black is remarkable in its own ways. After my maiden voyage there, I was able to recall every stroke on every hole - a first for me, and an indicator of just how special the course is. While many muni's give you a sense of deja vu from hole to hole, each hole on The Black is new tableau, a new challenge, distinct from the holes before and after, but somehow connected and related.
The first hole is non-descript, though deceiving in length. The elevated tee, from which much of the course can be surveyed, makes the first green appear closer than it is, but it's a fairway wood into the green for all but the longer hitters. The second hole demands a straight tee shot (or join me in the right rough) and a blind approach to an elevated green. The third green is bigger than in looks from the tee, and it's better to come up short than to overcook it into the woods beyond the green.
The most memorable moments for me included the first look from the 3rd green toward the 4th fairway, and the famous "glacier bunkers." Even better, I parred that baby with a competent tee and second shot, and a wedge to the green. I have yet to repeat that feat in 5 subsequent visits.
The fifth is like a right-handed big brother to the 2nd, both having blind shots to elevated greens, but the vista from the 5th tee box is as stunning as it is intimidating. The 6th demands local knowledge of the hidden dangers beyond the valley fronting the tee box - you can see the fairway, but you can't see far enough to make out where you want a long drive to land. It's target golf. The 7th fairway is easily reached for most of us, but it's just as easy to drive right through it into the left side rough. I've yet to play the par 3 8th without ending up on the hill to the right, but at least I've never had to make the back-to-front downhill putt that's sure to end up rolling off the green. The ninth demands a long tee shot to the right side of the fairway if you want to see the green. For me, I'm usually in the swale on the left side of the fairway taking a blind second shot to a green surrounded by bunkers.
Catch your breath after the 9th because you're just getting started.... Play the 10th like a par 5 - you might end up with a "birdie/par" if you leave yourself a short wedge to the green and pitch it in close. The 11th demands some local knowledge from the tee - the fairway isn't where you think it is... I've managed to clear the gigantic cross-bunker on 12 each time I've played there, but have yet to make the green, even with a flush-hit 3 wood. Thirteen is one of the most interesting and picturesque par 5's you'll ever see - after a generous landing area for your tee shot, trouble abounds for your second and third. The par 3 14th is a tester, playing longer than it looks, and with another large green as challenging as any on the course. The 15th is larger than life, the elevated green hidden and well protected - yet I've managed par that one each time I've played there. Hole 16 looks relatively harmless, but it's further to the fairway from the tee than it looks, and you'll spend time in the greenside bunker "complex" if you get too cocky. Hole 17 is intimidating, but do-able if you can hit your long iron or utility wood on the number. I've been in a fairway bunker each time I played the 18th except once - and that's when I duck-hooked my tee shot into the first fairway. From there, I pitched to the end of the fairway fronting the green, made a blind pitch to the flag, and just missed my par. Bogeys can be satisfying on The Black.
You will get your butt kicked on this course - it's larger than life in every respect - the grass is thicker, the turf is tougher, the bunkers are deeper and hungrier, the hills are higher and the valleys lower. It's a golf course with shoulders. This is not a "good walk spoiled," it's a trek through the wilds of a long island hardwood forest with golf thrown in. You may walk off 18 just feeling glad to survive, maybe glad that it's over, but you'll be back...
Here's be biggest challenge - getting a tee time! Reservations are by phone, and the hotline is constantly busy starting 10 minutes before the reservation window opens for the following week. As a result, I'm lucky to play there twice a year, but other players tell me that they have much better luck getting through. So, what's the deal with tee-times at Bethpage? If someone can clue me in, I'll regrip your clubs for you...
GF