Why We Watch... (and why Tiger Depresses Me)

We watch golf because we like to see the things that we can do being done at the highest level. Most of us can swing a bat, get a tennis ball over a net, make a "swoosh" or two from the foul line, and make good contact between clubface and ball. We can't do these things at the high level we see on TV or at the ballpark, arena, or pro golf tour. Few of us are entertained by watching even celebrities duff and chunk and four-putt - there's enough of that at our local muni on weekends. We love to see the spot-on wedge that sucks back to a few inches from the stick. We marvel at towering drives with 6 seconds of air time. We live for those 30 foot zig-zag putts that hit the heart of the cup, especially when The One is running after it, finger pointed, commanding it to go in. Ahh, The One... The Chosen One... The Greatest of All Time. Are we not lucky, indeed blessed to be golf fans while this kind of history is being made? And because Vardon and Jones and Hogan and Snead and Palmer and Nicklaus have gone before him, we are all the luckier for having the historical perspective. So why does Tiger Woods depress me?
First, here's what thrills me - the sheer excellence of what he does. For sure, he has the raw material - he'd be among the best if he conducted his life and his pursuit of the game like John Daly. He could roll out of bed ten minutes before tee time, and make a very nice living playing this stupid stick-and-ball game. But his raw talent combined with his disciplined pursuit of excellence is what makes him and historic figure - The One. In this way, The One is an inspiration. If all of us, any of us pursued any one thing in our lives with the focus, commitment, and single-mindedness that The One applies to golf, think of the potential we could realize. That's the "inspiration" part of the equation.
The depressing part: No matter how much discipline any of us applies to any of our interests, whether personal or professional, you will never be as good at that thing as Tiger Woods is at golf. My parents always said that they didn't care what I wanted to be "when I growed up;" that even if I wanted to be a garbage man, as long as I tried to be the best garbage man that I could be, that would be fine with them. Well, the sad truth is that I could never be as good a garbage man as Tiger Woods is a golfer. Naturally, this would be difficult to quantify - comparable measurements in the worlds of golf and sanitation are hard to come by - but even within the world of garbage collection, what would I have to do in order for my peers to declare me "the best trash picker-upper that ever lifted a can?"
Nope, I'm hard pressed to find anything that I do as well as Tiger plays golf. I can solve the "Jumble" in the newspaper within a minute-thirty 90% of the time; my privet hedge in the front yard is legendary in my neighborhood for the perfectly straight trim-job that I do (freehand, by the way;) my kids think I can fix anything that breaks around the house... In any of those things, trivial or not, can I achieve the level of excellence that approaches that of The One in his chosen profession? I'm not even going to try.
And that, my friends, is Tiger's biggest edge of the golf course - his competition feels the same way. Phil said it himself, famously, in a press conference about a year ago - as much as he will ever win, he'll never have the career that Tiger has already assembled.
Having said all that, I better get back to work.... discipline.... focus.... c'mon GolfFlogger - get inspired!

GF

Give Ogilvy His Due...

The headline from Florida should not be that Tiger's streak is over, the headline should be that Major Champion Ogilvy played steady, near-flawless golf despite the best players in the world nipping at his heels. Give the guy his due. Up until the last putt, his lead was never safe, but he played steady, kept his head, played safe shots when he had to, held nothing back off the tee, got it close and got it down enough times to make the others chase him, and looked calm and aloof, even while walking down the 72nd fairway. Look, it coulda happened and whole lot differently - Ogilvy three-putts the 72nd hole, Singh chips in, and we have a different winner. But that's not what happened - Mr. O played beautifully, and he scores a W. I say he'll be a factor in the majors this year.
Of course, the headlines will be about The One, and how his streak (such as it was) is now over. Will the sports journalism world call this a "slump?" Will they seek to find a heretofore un-noticed weakness in his character, his game, his nerve? Is his Grand Slam bid now is jeopardy? Will he ever meet or beat Nicklaus' or Snead's records? Has he peaked? You'll read all of the above.... until Tiger's next W.

GF

Those Other Bethpage Courses

Absolutely, if you have the opportunity to play "The Black," do it, by all means! Be ready to have your clock cleaned, to eat a chunk of humble pie, to be glad you didn't quit your day job. Prepare to be demoralized, to consider going back to fishing or bowling, to replace/repair/give away/throw away your clubs, shoes, bag and balls. Be ready for that odd feeling after teeing off on 18 that you are glad it's almost over. Glad it's almost over! You love to play golf, you eagerly anticipate a round on the legendary Black, and your glad it's almost over! What does that tell you about biting off more fairway than you can chew?
Here's my advice, try the Yellow, the Blue, the Green or the Red... There's a ton'o fun to be had on those courses, and none of them are pushovers. Many call the Red the next best course, and I'd agree. The Green is, by some accounts, the original golf course of the private club that existed on the site before Robert Moses began to build the State Park. It's a bit of an oddball, that Green course... I don't see a lot of rhyme or reason to it, but it is a collection of excellent holes, each different and challenging in it's own way. It's as hilly as the Black, not as long, and not as tight. Red is generally flatter, but 1 and 18 are two of the major exceptions. Bring extra balls. For my money, Blue may be the second toughest test next to Black, but Red has a charm to it that's hard to pinpoint. I live the Yellow quite a bit - it's geared down for us weekend golfers, but not necessarily an "easy" course. You'll need to play well to shoot to your handicap, but it's a more realistic course for us regular dubs for whom a good drive is 225 yards.
The point: The Black is definitely the "Lobster and Steak" on the menu at Bethpage, but sometimes that big plate full of food leaves you wishing you chose something a little lighter. Give the Yellow Course lamb chops a try!

GF

I've Been Hybridized!

As I noted in an earlier post, I "needed" a hybrid, and after much deliberation.... well, after browsing my local Golfsmith, and seeing a sweet deal on a Nickent 3DX Ironwood, I decided to take one into the booth for a few whacks. It felt sweet from the first swing. For $59, I couldn't go wrong (thought I.)
I like the Nickent look more than any of the other hybrids I've tried - it looks more like a small-headed fairway wood because it doesn't have that two-tone look that (I suppose) is meant to make the hybrid look like an iron with a dark tumor on its back. More importantly, it doesn't have a lot of offset - something I don't like at all in any club, excepting a putter, maybe.
In keeping with my hardware procurement philosophy, I did not buy their latest 4DX, nor did I even consider the two-year-old model 3DX DC - nope, I got the first generation 3DX Ironwood, and I presume that it will perform as well as it did a couple years back when golf magazines and columns rated it highly. I expect that this new addition to my arsenal will easily out-perform my 4 iron in consistency and ease of use.
I'll report back when the weather warms, the wind stops blowing, the rain stops falling, and the grass starts growing on how well my purchase performs in the real world.

GF

The Fist-Pump-Hat-Spike

If it was Ernie or Phil or Vijay or anyone else but The One coming down the fairway on the 18th at Bay Hill, even after a well-struck, safe shot to the green into a headwind, we couch-jockeys would be going for another bowl of chips and a beer to get ready for the inevitable playoff. Bart Bryant would've been on the practice tee, staying loose, getting ready for the first hole of sudden death. Instead, we: you, me, Bart - we watched for the inevitable, and we saw the near re-run of Bay Hill circa 2001. Back then, The One snatched victory from the jaws of Phil Mickelson, yesterday, it was Bart Bryant who watched helplessly, "hopelessly" as he was quoted, as The One did what he does - make the clutch shot, sink the clutch putt, do whatever he needs to do under extreme pressure to gather up another W. There are no superlatives that have not already been used and over-used. We are watching history in the making. The fist-pump/hat-spike clip will now join the dozens of others that are played and replayed and will be replayed into perpetuity. We can say we were watching when it happened...

GF

Are All Golfers On Viagra?

I can't imagine that every golfer suffers from "E.D." or has urinary flow issues, yet you might think so, judging by the sheer volume of advertising for remedies to those ailments that you see when watching golf. They're all about the same - a guy's wife gives him the "let's do it" nod, and then the faucet blows a gasket, or some other guy takes his middle-aged squeeze dancing or for a motorcycle ride, and next thing you know, "the moment is right..."

Here's what cracks me up - the spots with the grey-haired guys riding around in a vintage Mustang convertible with heavy metal music playing, and the voice-over starts talking about always having the urge to "go." I just don't see the association between heavy metal lead guitar riffs and a weak stream. Is this their way of acknowledging that there's still a rock-star wannabe inside each of these swollen-prostate-owning old farts?

I'm concerned about the prevalence of this advertising during golf coverage, golf programs, on The Golf Channel, and in golf magazines. Face it dudes - this is an old man's sport for a million reasons. Start with municipal courses, where I like to play. The places are overrun with retirees, and they don't show a lot of patience for the youngsters starting out. And the youngsters don't show a lot of patience for the 6-hour rounds that result from the retirees shuffling around in the rough trying to find their $4 Pro V1's. Don't get me wrong, I expect to be one of them retirees myself some day, but I hope I play faster than the guys I've been stuck behind.

Then there are the country clubs - I've had just a little exposure to this world. Unless your Dad is a country clubber, you're not going to be honing your golf chops in that rarified air. Sure, some clubs set aside "twilight golf" for young golfers, but face this too - the youngsters aren't really welcome until they can really play. The members love.... LOVE... to play with "the kid" who can shoot to a 2 handicap - just don't be finding those skills on my course on my time. The unspoken sentiment: "Me and the guys all paid 20.... 40..... 60 grand this year to be able to tee off when we want, and to hang in the grill-room with a bunch of other guys that pretty much look just like us, and you kids don't even know you have a prostate yet..." Nope, the welcome mat is begrudgingly rolled out for the young men. How many 16-year-olds want to don their Sperry loafers, polo shirt, khaki's and blue blazer to hang with the old guys? Do any 16 year-olds own that kind of clothing?

...and that's the boys! The young girls? They don't have a shot. The irony is that so many clubs are hurting for membership.

So, while I really would prefer to see some sports car ads, a comical Budweiser commercial, or the occasional Victoria's Secret spot during "Playing Lessons with the Pros," maybe the advertisers have it right. Us golfers are in their target demographic of current or near-future E.D. sufferers and weak-stream whizzers. Unless we can figure out how to sustain our ranks through succession, and an ongoing infusion of young people in numbers into our sport, we'll be watching more and more ads geared towards older and older golfers. Soon, Wilfred Brimley will be waving his diabetic finger at us reminding us to test our blood (while heavy metal music plays) between segments of "Big Break XXXXVII."
GF

I Need a Hybrid

Let me be the first to say that I reject the notion that we all "need" any more golf equipment than we already have. I can't imagine that a new driver will do me much better than the 460 Launcher that I already have, or that I could flush a 3-wood any further or straighter than I already do with my other Cleveland launcher. I already have The Greatest Putter Ever Made. And the 762s are still the best irons I have ever used. Ever. But I've got a big hole - it's between 170 and 185 yards away from wherever I'm standing, trying to select a club that will do the job consistently. A choke-down 5W sometimes works, but choking down on a club is an unnatural act, and I don't practice it, and it feels weird. You can't make a confident, committed swing when you feel weird and unnatural.

My "Big Billy" 7W, named for Billy Casper, and a near-perfect knock-off of the original Heaven Wood, comes close, but that same small profile face and sharp leading edge that makes it so good out of the rough also makes it feel.....weird and unnatural off the tee, or tee box, or fairway. It's the weapon of choice in the second cut, but stays in the bag on medium-sized par 3's.

A flushed 5 iron does me just fine up to about 175, but add a little wind, or elevate the green, and I over-swing, and end up who-knows-where. I can hit my 4-iron nicely at the range - it's good for 180-185 - at the range - and I've hit some brilliant shots with it in actual rounds, but it's unpredictable. I can hit it 165, and I can hit it 190, I just never know which or when. That same club, however, is money in my pocket when hitting that very low runner out from the trees amidst which I seem to spend so much time...

So, I need a hybrid, and it's going to take the place of the 4-iron. I've tried a few, and they aren't miracle clubs, but I do believe that one will give me more consistent results on those 178 +/- shots. I need a used one, not a new one. This is easy enough to accomplish these days - I'll swing a few at the range, try out clubs that belong to some golf pals, make my choice, and hit eBay for a few nights. My thrifty yankee predisposition will not allow me to take a shiny new piece of hardware into a pebble-filled waste bunker (another place that I've wiled away the hours...)

The point is, if you see me wielding a hybrid this year, it's not because I fell for the hardware hype-machine that attempts to convince every one of us that all the stuff we already own is no good any more, and all the new high-COR, low kick-point, square-headed, spin inducing, multi-material, spin reducing, to-the-limit MOI stuff that they just came out with will make our lives so much better. Nope, if you see me with a hybrid, it's because I needed it.

GF

Cink, Sank, Sunk

Sorry, I couldn't help that headline. Really, it hurt to watch ol' Stu stumbling down the stretch. Ever since my scratch-golfin' friend "The Commish" told me that Cink's swing reminded him of my swing, I kinda identify with the guy. Really, I should be so lucky swing like any pro, but Cink's finish has just a little bit of "helicopter" in it, and mine doesn't. I've got more of a flat back and down-swing that somehow ends up with a more upright finish, but I do get the club through the ball.
Sometimes you can just tell which way tee shot is going by watching a player's hands. I sure knew that handsy swing Stu made on one of the last holes was going to end up left, 'specially since he lost the tee shot before to the right. We've all had that ball on the lee side of the tree to deal with, but you don't see it too much on TV. I just got finished telling my Dad how Stu was going to surprise us with a great upside-down, left-handed swing shot when, and natch, Stu shanks it 10 feet to the left.
Anyhow, it was nice to see Sean O' (head of thick) Hair rack up another win. Maybe we are seeing a new, young player capable of challenging The One? Stay tuned...

GF

If Phil Can't Do It, Ernie Can!

Saturday night on the Golfin' Channel, Ernie said (and I'm para-quoting) "I'll just be heading out there to shoot a 3-under tomorrow, and we'll see what happens." Less than 24 hours later, Ernie is BACK, and not a minute too soon. If we don't see some vintage Ernie, or classic Phil soon, we'll be watching a Tiger-dominated season of golf that will be downright boring in its predictability. We need some competition. I watch to see that great duel down the home-stretch. For tournaments and championships to be memorable, you need that hot competition. Phil's first Masters victory was great because of the Ernie-Phil duel that made his winning putt something to jump up and down about. Tiger's last British Open was almost exciting because Chris DiMarco was making a late charge. It was another DiMarco charge at the Masters that made Tiger's chip-in on 16 such a thriller (I mean, in your life, have you ever?)

If Phil and Ernie can't do it, we need some of these young guys with so much promise (yet so little results) to start posing a challenge to The One. Matt Jones looked great at the Honda, and Golf Digest predicted he'd be one to watch. Jason Day might be the real deal, or he might be another Ty Tryon. Don't count Badds out yet... How cool would a Steve Stricker/Tiger Woods final pairing be at any major?

Bottom line, the Flogger says that, though history may be made in 08, we'll only really be talking about it for years to come if a true rivalry takes place. Sure, we'd like to tell the grand-kids how we watched The One lap the field at all four majors back in ought-eight, but books will be written and movies will be made if The One needs to fend off a resurgent Phil, and a rejuvenated Ernie. ...and if we see one of the young rookies make like Sergio's performance at the PGA some years ago, all the better.

GF